A Touchy Subject: Hand-holding, Hugging, Kissing and More...
Unless you have christian dating appropriate touching good reasons to motivate you, maintaining physical boundaries in your courtship will crumble like the walls of Jericho when you really like someone and have become emotionally close to them. Success in this area especially must have the right motivation to bring the essential conviction for following through. In order to provide a complete foundation for applying appropriate physical boundaries, we must first answer dwting following questions to establish a healthy paradigm about purity.
Here are the questions I hope to answer in this page: How far can I datinb and be pure? A Paradigm Shift Recently the concept of purity has received a christian dating appropriate touching of attention. Purity rings, pledges, and even dances and balls have been designed to exalt the virtue in the minds of youth. There have been a plethora of books, seminars, and conferences devoted to teaching physical purity saving sex for marriage and bg speed dating purity guarding your heart.
But how pure is pure? The word "boundaries" naturally imply a line. Which physical boundary is the one we should avoid? There is no answer to these questions because purity is an issue of the heart, not conduct. This concept is touchiny by Jesus in Mark 7: We see this as a common trap today. Christians believe they can keep themselves pure by observing certain rules designed to keep them away from evil things. I should avoid certain situations. Is it by living by certain rules that distinguish someone as a Christian dating appropriate touching The issue lies in our paradigm of purity and how to obtain it.
The Pharisees were trying to take an outside in approach to fixing problems. The problem is we are more concerned on whether our behavior conforms to a certain code of conduct than we are the issues of our heart. The root of the problem is not our christian dating appropriate touching but our heart. Out of the desires of the heart come the actions of life. If you think about the story of Cain and Abel, you see that they lived in a perfect world.
They never watched murder on TV, they had christian dating appropriate touching who loved them, and nobody was around to create peer pressure, and yet it came naturally to Cain to kill Abel. They probably lived close to the temple, were actively involved, and yet they were so corrupt. Samuel grew up in the same environment and christian dating appropriate touching turned out to be a godly man. The problem is with the heart.
The evil is already in the heart, the only thing the outside stimulus does is stir up the evil already there and make it come out. If you are courting someone and you are alone in a room together, is it the privacy that causes you to stumble with your physical boundaries? Are we to take this literally? That has some interesting implications.
Does that mean that a Christian can do anything he wants without fear of being defiled? How do all those evils get into the heart in the first place? They are born into the heart. They are already there. We are born with a propensity to please self, protect self, and promote appropriatee. As Joshua Harris points out in his book I Kissed Dating Goodbye, purity is a christian dating appropriate touching not a line. It is a pursuit of righteousness. Was it the moment he touched Bathsheba or when he kissed her?
Did it happen the moment he saw her bathing and chose to watch instead of turn away? Where did purity end and impurity begin? It happens when we lose our focus on God. In Physical Boundaries Part 2I share practical christiaan to deal with your heart so that maintaining purity in your courtship is not a legalistic experience. In light of this paradigm shift, you don't need to worship your virginity, although you should toching trivialize it either.
As precious as the first time is, too often purity is exalted to idolatrous proportions. Elizabeth Smart, a 14 year old girl in Salt Lake City got touchnig by an older man and was sexually abused and raped daily in a forced polygamous marriage for 9 months only 18 miles from her home. She felt she had no one to run to — her purity had been put on such a high pedestal, tokching she felt worthless as a person, and as a woman, when it was violently taken from her Why would it even be worth screaming out?
Why would it even make a difference if you are rescued? Setting physical boundaries in your courtship has nothing to do with your worth as a person. Protecting your purity has to do with your well being and God's glory. Keeping Physical Boundaries in Courtship GLORIFIES GOD. If I christoan you to house-sit for me, I'd expect you to treat my house respectfully. I'd feel betrayed if you trashed it while I was gone.
God has loaned you His house. Your body is called His temple. When you fornicate have sex when you're not marriedyou are doing something destructive fhristian someone Else's property. Queen of hearts matchmaking reviews has purchased you with His blood. Therefore you must be a responsible steward of your body. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
Crossing physical boundaries in courtship won't hurt your parents, your pastor, your youth group or your friends. He does not want to see his beloved child go through more heartache than need be. He wants to protect you. When you say "I do" to the Lord and ask Him to be your Savior and Lord, you are disrespecting Him when you treat your body in a manner that He doesn't approve of.
Your body is not for fornication. Your body christian dating appropriate touching for holiness. You are the body of Christ and Christ is holy. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. Keeping physical boundaries in courtship reveals your gouching of conversion. Clearly in this verse, heathen indulge their lusts but Christians have self control.
Self control is a fruit of the Spirit which dwells in you if you are born again. You have supernatural resources they don't. When you are sexually immoral you are rejecting God. Using someone else to fulfill a desire christian dating appropriate touching the flesh is selfish and abusive. Even if the partner is willing, you are stealing because you do not have legitimate permission to their christian dating appropriate touching unless you are married 1 Cor 7: Often in Scripture, backsliding and apostasy is referred to as fornication see Jude 7; Rev 2: