Dating For Shy People
So some guys on here say they can message 20 women on a dating site, and get 19 responses. This is extremely foreign to me, and I don't know what you're doing right, but it's almost unfair. I can message 50 and get about 7, about 5 of those are just the one line response and nothing, about 2 I can go for more messages and then it's over with "no thanks. I'm about to get off the OKStupid site completely, even being on the dating site is not me, I am not the type to advertise myself.
I don't believe I should be selling myself like a brand, and I don't believe it is ethical for colombo online dating, or anyone, to search through hundreds of profiles as if they were trading cards with different stats for strength, beauty, and intelligence, and then pick out what you want. If I wanted goods, I'd go to the market.
A marketplace for a "special someone" is an extremely twisted idea IMHO. To say it's not a marketplace would be to tell me "just be yourself and replies will pour in", that is NOT the case here. After 3 weeks of being there, the only thing that's happened is what little confidence I had, has gone further down the drain. I guess the point is, I came here and other places asking what can a super-shy person do, if they want some kind of relationship, and inevitably they all say "dating site.
This "conventional wisdom" must end. The suggestion causes more pain than it is worth. If I thought I was good looking before, what about now? Now, I'm thinking my looks are the problem, and I need to start thinking I'm simply unattractive. Is this what a "shy loser" needs? Chris 2 King of loneliness. I want to ask you this question. Do you love yourself? The first thing I thought when I read this was, I love online dating for shy guys so much that I am well acquainted with Rosy Palms.
The answer is, the OP is right. Some guys just don't have luck. It's either that we don't know how to write a profile, or don't know how to write a message, or that we just take bad profile pics. I've seen lots of guys stressing over not getting dates on POF, and when I look at their profile pic, I can see why. Seriously, don't even fuck with them unless you're looking for a quick tap. Especially PoF, that place is a pit. EveWasFramed Fortes fortuna adiuvat.
Maybe it's a personality someone doesn't care for. Maybe it's something that has more to do with them and not you. And by "you" Online dating for shy guys mean people in general - not you specifically. Also, in reference to someone's earlier post about guys suggesting that he bulk up and take a pic with his shirt off Please don't - I doesn't send a very good message IMO. I think a lot of women will agree with me on that. Batman, the bolded, what I said before too, remember?
The exact profile pic I put up there, personally I consider to be one of my better ones. I also put up another good picture where I'm smiling. Having shown both these photos to women on the net before for instance, girls I've chatted with randomlyI have gotten good responses about half the time. So I have reason to believe I'm half-decent looking and the photos are good enough.
I don't just base the opinion on the Net. Several times girls in real life have indicated they thought I was attractive. So I could say these women online and in real life were truthful, which is what I usually believe although now I'm re-evaluating that. Or I could say they were all lying for some strange reason, although that seems unlikely right? You don't mean I have to be ripped with my shirt off to get anywhere, do you?
The site I'm on is OKCupid, anyway. Without assuming what I'm looking for, what's wrong with a quick tap in your opinion? Would it make me to shallow if I said that's fine with me? Then, what's up with them? If you say one cannot generalize women because they're all individuals, then why am I being systematically rejected by all women on there? It certainly looks like a collective problem at this point, as if they are all finding the same few things wrong with me.
I'm still not getting any answers. It's almost as if online dating for shy guys are concerned that if they said what's wrong with me, it would confirm stereotypical views about what women want, and that's an area that's so controversial it must be avoided at all times. I mean, this is online dating for shy guys. I haven't had one person anywhere say "let's see your profile," or anything like that.
It's like I could be telling you I put up a picture of sliced ham as my only picture, and you'd be saying "that's not the problem," etc.